Lately my prayer time has changed dramatically. I have a new hunger to know God and to experience Him in a way that I can't seem to obtain. It's as if there is an invisible ceiling I can't seem to get through. I am always thinking about the Law and the Spirit.

Psalm 119:34 has been a daily prayer of mine,
"Give me understanding and I shall keep the law with all my heart."

I know the law is LOVE...
Love God and love people, Dt 6:4-5 and Lev 19:18. I know the law is to be upon my heart. I understand all of this in my head yet I find myself fighting to do it every day. I pray as our pastor does regularly that He teach us to love.

I am learning and growing everyday and looking back I can see the work that has been done. Thank God for what He has finished! There is soo much more that needs to be done. I know that the work He has began in me will be brought to completion (Phil 1:6).

I can't do this He has to with the fullness of Spirit. I am little in strength.

I don't know if this year's Pentacost will mark me will an infilling and baptism of Spirit. I can't bear to focus on that today. I must admit it's because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen this year. I sooth myself by asking and answering these questions...

Ques- "Do I trust God to do all things in His perfect time?"
Ans- "Yes!"
Ques- "If He doens't ever decide to fill me with all of His Spirit will I turn back?"
Ans- "NO!"
Ques- "Tomorrow after tomorrow will I still choose Him?"
Ans- "Yes!"
Ques- "Why?"
Ans- "because He alone is YHWH!"

This year I am going to focus my fast on being holy as He is holy...

For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore and be holy, for I am holy.
Lev 11:44

After He uttered the Law to Israel He told them His desire was to make them His own...

'Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be My own possession among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine; and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.'
Ex 19:5-6

I am asking Him to set me apart for holiness everyday. I am choosing to be set apart. As I prepare for this year' fast I will ask how I can I be set apart and holy? I will try to replace the common unholy things of my life with His Law. I will look for opportunities to love Him and His people.

I stand in my own way, there is no invisible ceiling, only myself. My common unholy ways are disguised as an invisible ceiling. Jesus made the way and removed the barriers. I need to press in to Him with or without a fullness of Spirit so that His prayer to the Father may be answered in me...

that they may all be one; even as You, Father, {are} in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, John 17:21

I now understand why the desert experience is essential to growth before the promise land. There is nothing to turn to in the desert but the Great Shepherd alone. The focus is on Him and provision from His hand is the only thing that sustains life. We don't live in the desert, our lives are full of all the world has to offer and we lose sight of Him. Can we live in the world and yet live the lives of those who are in the desert? I aim to try! I am preparing for a desert walk. Anyone want to come along?